For no reason today, I came across the page for "The Ring" in IMDb (no link today). The MPAA says "Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, disturbing images, language and some drug references". One civilian reviewer says "Rated PG-13; Adult Themes, Disturbing Images, and a little bit of Profanity".
Thematic elements, disturbing images, language, drug reference, profanity.
HAH!
8 o'clock news: That is your drug reference.
6 o'clock news: Help yourself to the disturbing images and language.
Anything else: Take your piece of profanity and make good use of it.
Shut up, you cynical hypocrites.
I was astonished to see "Treasure Planet" was rated PG. "Parental Guidance".
"See, Tim, this guy was thrown into the black hole. He went to a very nice place, and the other nice guys will see him when they go into the black hole, too."
"But daddy, why don't they go fetch him now, or go visit him?"
"Because if they do, they would not want to come back, and they still have things to do here, Timmy."
"Oohh. And what are all these little babies, where did they come from?"
"Ah, you see, Timmy, when a man and a woman love each other, the dad buys a seed and gives it to the mom, who plants it, and then a cabbage sprouts with a baby in it. That is how you came to be, that is how all babies came to be."
"Aaahh, I get it now, daddy! And why did the big spider try to kill the boy?"
"Because he is evil, Tim, and the boy is good."
"Why is he evil?"
"Because he only wanted the gold. Wanting only the gold is evil. And evil people are always out to kill good people."
"Aahh, right. But that fat guy who wanted all the gold just escaped and the good boy let him. Is that the right thing to do?"
"More or less, Timmy. They were friends, and he was not really a bad guy. Just a little."
"So if you don't try to kill anyone you are not really evil?"
"That's right."
"Daddy, if I build a skateboard and go rolling in dangerous off-limits areas, will I end up as a soldier?"
"It is not so simple, Tim. The boy got lucky, and..."
Oh, I wish...
"Daddy, why did he let the bad guy go?"
"Sometimes you have to make decisions based on lots of things, son. He was greedy, and betrayed the boy, but he gave up on the gold to save him, and they were friends. Of course, he was a criminal, so the right thing to do would be to take him to justice. But can you do that to a friend? It is a hard decision, Tim."
"Aahh."
This world is in serious need of a Captain Amelia - or a thousand.
Posted by Etienne at February 11, 2003 01:20 PM