The Vineyards

So what has been keeping me from writing, now? Still school - that is, college - work?

That too, yes, but that did not prevent me from writing two posts since that last one you see published. I removed them both.

Never had I done that before, not even in the LiveJournal days. Back then, once I started writing a post, but stopped in the middle, "This is worthless and uninteresting". I wrote something else a few days later. But to write, post, and remove, this was the first time. And second.

Both posts are still safe here, marked as drafts. The second one may be published someday again, after it is heavily altered - it had a flaw at its base, that I may correct with some further thinking (or rather, not correct, but work around so it is hidden and makes sense even though it says something that cannot possibly be agreed to - rhetorics, wonderful). The first post is likely to never return, but that is actually decided by that devious entity I mentioned, not by me. It stays there, thus.

The post about music waits a little longer. And I am seriously considering following the example of my good sister and starting a second blog solely for tales. Maybe in that format I will actually write some of the stories I have been meaning to.

It is funny, you see - I always felt most comfortable writing stories in two programs: Netscape Composer and Outlook Express. Netscape Composer, because that is where I wrote the majority of my Dark Ages texts. Got used to it. Outlook Express, because I have a taste for randomly adding fiction or twists to e-mail - like a huge story about why the city of Undine (in Temuair) had a big lake in its middle, or one case where I started each paragraph of a mail with each letter of the alphabet, in order, A to Z.

To be honest, however, the Movable Type entry box is not a very good place to write. It shows less than twenty lines at a time. Maybe if I rearrange it I can get better results. Or maybe I can use Mozilla Composer. Or even Word, for spellchecking.

But now that I think of it, I could, instead of creating a new blog, write the tales right here, but use the Extended Entry function to keep clutter down - my normal posts are long enough without my stories among them. But I would still keep them somewhere in separate, so they do not get lost in here.

The conclusion to that post about music will wait a bit. I am sure the first part did not cause a good impression anyway, so I am in no hurry anymore.

That will be all.

A few days ago I looked at these Vineyards here and noticed how boring it is. The layout is boring - heck, it was copied from a default first generation Live Journal template. The texts are boring - I just start talking and never stop, and the subjects are hardly any fun at all; it is in English, which means it will be ignored by the majority of readers of other blogs I read; the text column is too wide, making it hard to read (but that goes in layout).

Then I reached a conclusion that wizard from Deoch 1 would never reach on his own: I want to make people happy.

What do you mean, make people happy? What devious malevolent entity got hold of your sanity?
What entity? Not telling. But that part about making people happy, that is just it. I wanted people to be happy when they read something I wrote. Or maybe if I could be so bold, something I drew - but that is a long way ahead, if ever. Something I coded could work, eventually; something I composed is most unlikely. All in all, something I created. Maybe I could write a children's book. Or a nice little text. Or draw something beautiful. Anything. I just wanted to make people happy. I want someone completely random to look at it, smile, and show it to someone else completely random - not because they are my friends or liked my past writings, but because that one piece made them smile.

But I do not currently have time to do any of these things. I am stuck with these "school papers".

"Oh", says the passing reader, "another angsty teenager with too much acne, which led him to read loads of bad novels, and now he daydreams that his writing is good enough to make people happy - ah! it will not make anyone better than himself happy. At least he is not writing goth poems like he read too much Poe."

My my, what a little expression can cause, no? "School papers". No, I am no longer a teenager, I am no longer angsty, and I did not read loads of bad novels. I read a lot of Poe, but I certainly am nothing anywhere near goth.

If I change it to "college papers", does it help? No, because it is in English, American English. And in the United States, college students are not a much better bunch than high school ones. Shame, because I cannot go higher and say "master papers" - if that at all exists. We will all have to settle down with college papers and agree that they are not easy, not shallow, and I have not been stuck with them because I had parties with lots of beer and boobies to go to that only end when the police comes. No, no such parties. Yes, I know, I took the stereotype from teen movies. It was on purpose.

I am stuck with these papers because they are hard to do. If I just had to write a short story, all would be perfectly fine. But one is an analysis, half-breed academia, half-breed journalism (I am not a journalist, what do they want from me?), the other is a journalistic text (ditto), and... I forgot the rest. Hopefully their deadlines are further away.

Concluding - I cannot do anything to make people happy right now, and I cannot make the Vineyards less boring, because I have all these things to do before I get to it. I partially regret not having finished that biographic tale about music, since now I have to finish it before making changes to this blog's style.

Oohh, he called the Vineyards a blog!
Well, it is not in Live Journals anymore, it is not a journal anymore - and never was, really. Let us just call it properly from now on.

Alright, I am done. Back to being lost about these papers.