The Vineyards

Multiple responses here, in order of request: Courtney, F. Diddy and Faulkner. A bonus for Flines at the end.

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When I wrote the previous post, I planned to write an English version shortly after, to explain what that was. On request, this post was delayed. Here it is, now.

The image is an ad banner I saw on a torrent site, somehow “localized” for Brazilian audience. It is babelfish Portuguese, hilarious to the core. I found it amusing on its own the fact that Portuguese is on this end of the fish this time, as English is always the language butchered.

Most of what I wrote in the previous post was filler text of little meaning, solely to have something by the banner’s side and not have it floating around. I speak of how funny things are always said in Flines’s bedroom or in the kitchen, but never in my room, when attempting to remember where the quote mentioned was created. It says more or less “The vague cow wanders vaguely on the slow vacant wagon”, a line which, in Portuguese, is not easily pronounced. As for the mention of Viagra, the ad is for Orexis, which clearly is a competitor – I say that, if I were using the Vineyards for advertisement, it would not be for Viagra’s competition: it would be for Viagra itself! “And cows fly”, because “pigs fly” does not sound as good in Portuguese.

The banner itself, now. In English, it would say something like:

She adores what he takes Orexis.
The Blue Saddle What And Everything- Natural
Find with Orexis the blue saddle what is totally natural for masculin sex with immediate results and a long-term garantized.
Attempt the difference Orexis may make in your life of the love.

I did not reproduce the typos of the Portuguese version. Honestly.

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F. Diddy, who I still refer to as Flyfer (you embarass me, I embarass you), please excuse the delay in responding and the lack of any response in the previous request. How have you been? We have not spoken in several years, although I do eventually hear a bit about you from a now sorely tamed wolf. How are things? Still good at making money by using greatly creative methods of public manipulation? I have an honest fear someday I will work for you and not even know about it.

As for your question, my graduation should come with the end of this year. Unfortunately, my initial project, of writing a paper on the history of pornography in the 15th to 19th century was not accepted. (Let me clarify: not pornography, but erotic art. I wondered when and why and how someone decided to stop using those new printing machines to print bibles and threw a drawing of a sensual lady, accompanied by a man or not, into the press, in spite – and probably mockery – of the church.) As it stands, then, I had to choose another theme, which is proving to be rather complicated and only gets worse the more I slowly look into it. It is nothing anywhere near as interesting to the general public, either.

Finally, I doubt I ever mentioned my name in these Vineyards, and it is better that that remains so. I prefer not to embarass my old classmates too much. “I went to school with him, now look what he’s become. Those quiet types are always the worst ones.” Those classmates whose visit I value, however, tend to find a way here, regardless. I am glad on both accounts: for those that do, and those that do not. Heh heh.

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Conrad Allan Faulkner, before I answer your question, I have one of my own: how did you end up here? The only possible explanation I can think of is you did a Google search for “Laya Landale” and it led you straight to that post that mentions your name. What puzzles me in this scenario is why you would search for “Laya Landale”, and I would be surprised by each and every possibility – especially because all of them start with you somehow remembering that name.

You asked who I am. In this case, it can be said I am a second-hand witness, someone playing a background role. I am the one who endured Laya’s player’s reactions, “in real life”, to what happened in Koguryo. As if I knew what one can say or do to fix what she so many times brought back broken. Memorable days, no less.

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I like “Alright” by Supergrass, “The Whole of the Moon” by The Waterboys, “Duel – Eye to Eye” by Propaganda and “Red Sector A” (and some others) by Rush just because I do, not because they mean anything or have any story.