Are girls averse to what is closer? This has bothered me since I noticed the trend in high school. Boys usually had crushes on girls of the same classroom, or of another classroom of the same year. Girls, on the other hand, seemed interested only in boys from other years or, more often, boys not from school – someone from the club they went to every other weekend, a neighbor of a cousin… Always someone multiple degrees of social separation away, and whom they could not see nearly as often.
Is that a mechanism of defense? That is, by having a crush on someone they hardly ever see, they did not have to deal with it nearly as often, had no peer pressure over “confessing” every day, no reason to feel awkward whenever he walked by during break?
Or are boys just far more limited in their social circles, barely going beyond the school walls? Naturally, then, they would fall for someone in there. That fails to explain, however, why there were fewer cases of boys having crushes on girls from other years. Could it be, contrary to established notions, that boys usually only fall for girls they know relatively well, while girls swoon over the best looking guy, even if they never talk to him?
Of course, I speak based only on my own school years. Funny, however: in college, it was very common to see people of the same classroom dating, and from what little contact I still have with the course, the trend seems to only have increased.
I conclude nothing. Guess I should had paid more attention to some neighbor’s cousin or something like that. It just annoys me it took almost a decade for a girl of my own classroom to notice me. But it is fine.
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And I admit I only wanted to post something in June. I was sure I had already done it, but the 30th had to come by for it to dawn on me I had not. This post had been echoing in my head for months, but when I started writing it I realized how little I had to say about it (not that the subject is limited; my observations are). Well, it will do.
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Sabe que eu nunca tinha reparado nisso? Se eu fosse teorizar, diria que a convivência diária destroi qualquer possibilidade de fantasia, atributo necessário para uma adolescente se apaixonar. Também tem o fato de que as mulheres tendem a preferir homens mais velhos; geralmente não é na mesma classe que elas encontram.
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Bom, não vou apagar o que a Porin acha disso.
Eu concordo com o Calebe. Acho que até certo ponto, muitas meninas gostavam de meninos da própria sala. Quando começa a dar aquela diferença meninas menos idiotas/meninos ainda muito idiotas, a gente tem que olhar pros mais velhos, pros mais longe, pros que a gente não conhece muito bem. (Daí conhece. Daí vê que também é idiota. Mas isso é outra coisa.)
Pros meninos, acho que qualquer coisa serve. O que tá mais perto é mais fácil.
Well in my class in grammar school we had quite a few internal couples. I, however, fell for a boy two years my junior and mooned over him from afar for three years. When I confessed he turned me down gently and I went on with my life.
It takes a lot of guts to be the first to confess. Have you ever done it? I lost the small acquaintance I had with him after that. However his parents were friends of my parents so I still hear how he’s doing these days.
Also, looking back on it, I think I picked him and was so patient because I made some of the traits he actually had into my ideal and didn’t want to ruin the fantasy with the reality. I am a romantic at heart, but I don’t like getting hurt ^^.
Hope you’ve found someone to cherish in the meantime.